


50 First Kisses

by pemalites



Series: Gunpowder and Cigarettes [1]
Category: Fallout 3
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-23
Updated: 2016-09-19
Packaged: 2018-08-10 09:26:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7839412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pemalites/pseuds/pemalites
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Each chapter is an au, one-shot first kiss between my Lone Wanderer and their childhood rival turned...<i>friend.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Reunions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for gore (kind of), violence, chem usage, and cigarette smoking.

A few months had passed since Jaden left the vault. The wastes were harder to navigate and even _survive_ in than they'd imagined, but they'd managed. Came out with more scars than they'd cared to count, just within the short amount of time they'd been in the Capitol Wasteland. They were already becoming hardened by it, hardly phased at this point seeing the carnage before them. Super mutants, again.

Why they insisted on stringing up and butchering humans, doing gods know what with them, while capturing others - they had no idea. They didn't particularly care, honestly. Jaden was out of sight from them, a few mumbling things to another a few yards away. They chanced it, taking a quick glance and counting the amount of enemies on the field within seconds. Five on the left, three directly ahead. Whomever they were holding hostage was past the small horde of mutants to the left. Hopefully they'd be able to draw them away from them.

Adjusting the scarf around their neck, making sure their sniper rifle and submachine gun were both reloaded, they took a deep breath. One of the super mutants grunted shortly after they'd darted their head out, so it was only a matter of time before they were discovered. Adjusting the pack on their shoulder, they quickly unearthed a few frag grenades and a few chems, hastily plunging a needle of med-x into their leg.

Without a second thought, they removed a pin from one of their grenades, quickly tossing it over their shoulder almost professionally in the direction of the three super mutants ahead of them. And then another. These bad boys didn't exactly go down easily, and they wanted to save as much ammo as they could. Oddly enough, they seemed to find more grenades while scavenging than .308 and 10mm rounds. Supplies were especially low with the .308 ammunition, so grenades and their submachine gun would do most of the work this time around.

Slumping down to the ground beside the crumbling wall they'd been hidden against, they covered their ears seconds before two blasts sounded. Three down, five to go. Jaden was certain that the other five would come out from hiding, curious as to why their brethren had fallen. A faint groan from the hostage sounded, but they gritted their teeth and let the med-x numb more than any potential physical pain to come.

A few minutes, a few more grenades, and some 10mm rounds dispensed later for good measure, Jaden had finished most of their intended job. They jabbed a stimpak into their leg around the same spot the med-x had gone in, even though most of the bullets fired at them had bounced off the bullet-proof vest they'd had on. Didn't hurt to be sure, though. The impact may have broken or fractured a few of their ribs. Shiny new bruises and scrapes be damned, they made their way up the rocky crevice and up to the ledge to the hostage to release them.

"Come on, let's get you the hell outta here." Jaden said softly, untying his hands as quickly as they could. Something seemed familiar. Something about him...but that was impossible. They'd made it a habit, made it an unwritten rule not to get close to anybody out here in the wastes. Doing so was just asking for more trouble than they already had. Once his hands were undone, they lifted a stale cigarette to their mouth and lit it.

Jaden's mouth gaped open in shock once the man stood, their smoke almost falling to the ground. _No way. No fucking way. How did he get here?_ There was no mistaking who it was. That hair. That face. That faded jacket and vault-suit. They thought they'd never see him again.

"Is that really you, Butch?" Their voice was just above a whisper, them moving their hand towards his face and brushing away some of the dirt and grime that had accumulated. He laughed shakily in response, shrugging away and starting to sift through the countless bags full of...he didn't want to think about it too much. But he needed his gun back, needed the backpack he'd found from a dead scavenger a month or so ago.

After retrieving his belongings, he shoved whatever he could into his backpack and began to turn away from them. Probably another of his dreams again. Maybe when he woke up, he'd be lucky enough to have not actually been captured by super mutants. It was embarrassing to him, though, that he'd been rescued by the person who was the only reason he'd stumbled out of the vault. The only person on his mind for the past few months. He'd always been a few steps behind Jaden, though. Assumed they were dead by now. Didn't know why he kept searching for them.

"Dude, where the fuck are you going? I don't even get a 'thank you' for saving your ass?!" Jaden followed him, lips pressed in a fine line and grabbing him by one of his shoulders once catching up to him. He whirled around, and the look on his face made Jaden stumble back a bit.

"Stop it. Just stop it. 'Ya ain't even real. No way Nosebleed made it this far." He ran a finger through his messy hair, letting out a shuddering sigh. Hating how much he'd missed his childhood rival, hated more that shortly after he left he'd begun having daydreams about them. "Jaden's dead. So stop fuckin' with my head, would 'ya? Or...shit. I mean, my head stop fucking with my head. Whatever. I'm so over this."

Jaden froze, having more questions than they had time to ask him. How much time did the two have, anyways, before he bolted off? They wondered idly for a moment if what he'd said was reversed. How long had Butch been out in the wastes? "Butch...I'm real, man. What happened to you? How did you leave the vault?" They wound up caving and asking him two questions, removing the hand they'd laid on his shoulder. They didn't dare move any closer to him though, just in case. He looked really rattled. More than rattled. He looked shaken to the core.

Butch's eyes locked with theirs, and his expression softened a bit. "I followed you, a few days after you left. Been slummin' it in the wastes. Guess I got caught by muties." He wet his lips, tensions beginning to leave him. "You're really real, aren't 'ya? This ain't a dream or somethin'?"

"Yeah, 'course I'm real. Why'd you leave the vault? You could have..." Jaden shook their head, grabbing him by both shoulders this time and pulling him into a hug. "Damn it, Butch, you could have died out here." They were surprised that their eyes began welling up, but were comforted by the warmth that followed when Butch fell into their arms. Why they were so worried about Butch DeLoria, they had no idea.

A shaky laugh rumbled from Butch's chest, him placing his arms around them in return and smiling ear to ear. Beginning to believe them. They were cold, just like they were back in the vault. Not like in his dreams. "Yeah, yeah. Missed you too, Nosebleed." He pulled away a little.

When Butch pulled away, a few tears spilled from Jaden's eyes. They wound up closing the space between them then, pressing their lips to his quickly and holding onto him even tighter afterwards. "You smell like home." Jaden whispered into his ear, relieved when he held them back just as tightly. Surprised when he pulled apart and kissed them with more intent than they'd done a moment ago, able to taste his smile.


	2. Movie Hate Date

_Thump. Thump. Thump. **Thwack.**_

Jaden let out a long, drawn out sigh.

_Thump. Thump. **Thwack.** ...Ba-dum._

This time, they did it again with more emphasis.

_Thump. Thump. Thump. **Thwack.**_

"Okay, enough already!" They finally said something, turning around and glaring at Butch. He'd been doing the same thing for the past half hour, dribbling a tennis ball to the best of his ability and throwing it against the wall. Catch, dribble, throw. Rinse and repeat.

Butch gave them a lazy grin, hesitating only briefly before returning to his new hobby. _Okay, that was it._ Jaden got up from the common room's couch, letting their comic fall to the floor. Before he could throw the ball again, they jumped up and grabbed it out of his arms. With a triumphant laugh, they hauled it in the direction of the hallway. Peace and fucking quiet. That'd be a nice change for once.

"'Ey! You'd better go get that, Nosebleed." He looked disgruntled to say the least, glaring at them and crossing his arms.

Jaden smiled at him in response, plopping themselves back down on the couch. Grabbing onto the remote and restarting the movie they'd been trying to watch earlier, before being interrupted by Butch joining them in the common room. Acting like he owned the damned vault.

The second they hit 'play', restarting Alfred Hitchcock's _Rear Window,_ the remote was pulled from their hands. "The hell is this?" Butch's brows pulled together, still staring pointedly at Jaden as he joined them on the couch. He seemed disinterested now in the tennis ball he'd been fiddling with earlier, sitting beside his childhood rival and propping his feet up on their lap. Their groan of annoyance only made him smile.

"It's a horror movie. Kind of. You're probably too much of a baby to watch it anyways, so get lost." They watched him as he took apart the remote, pulling the old batteries out and rolling them around in his hands. "And get off of me, DeLoria. Ever hear of personal space?"

"I ain't scared of no movie, pipsqueak. It's not even real." Butch reclined on the arm of the couch, his earlier frustration evaporated and replaced with the feeling he always got when annoying them. "'Sides, you're too comfortable and soft and shit. So I'm stayin'." He stretched a little more, enough to where his feet touched the other arm of the couch. Kicked his boots off, loving the pissed look on Jaden's face.

Rolling their eyes and sighing again, this time in defeat, Jaden did their best to relax too. Pressing their back against the couch and trying their hardest to ignore Butch's legs on them, trying to focus on the movie. He sure didn't make it easy, though. After putting the remote back together, he propped himself up to a sitting position and leaned towards them. Badgering them with countless questions about the movie.

"It just started. You know as much about it as I do." They didn't even bother to turn towards him, hoping he'd shut up already and let the movie play. Or that he'd leave to go bother someone else. Why his number one hobby seemed to be annoying them, they had no idea.

Butch sneered, removing his legs from their lap and sitting normally now. "C'mon, you saw a little bit of it before you restarted the thing. What's it about?" He placed his elbows on his knees, holding his head and staring at them. He was surprised when they returned his gaze, but not entirely shocked that their eyes were narrowed and hostile. He thought of another way to annoy them, trying not to laugh as he acted on it.

Considering they seemed to hate his touch, he thought they'd just _love_ having his arm wrapped around their shoulders. So he did exactly that, giving them a light squeeze for extra effect. His brows shot up, though, when they didn't squirm away from him.

"It's uh, it's about some guy in an apartment or something. He's in a wheelchair. Likes spying on his neighbors." Jaden avoided his eyes now, annoyed at his touch just as they were sure he'd intended, but oddly finding a slight blush creeping up their cheeks. "Figured I'd watch it myself to find out what goes down." They thought about moving away - of getting up entirely - but instead leaned into his arm, resting their head on his chest. Expecting him to pull away just as they thought they would have a moment ago, he squeezed them again instead.

Butch cleared his throat, hoping that Jaden wouldn't hear how fast his heart was thudding in his chest. He'd meant it as a joke, just another way to annoy them. He didn't expect that he'd enjoy being this close to them. "Spies on his neighbors? He ain't got nothin' better to do?" Biting his lower lip, he found himself pulling them a little closer towards him. Shocked to hell and back when they placed an arm around his stomach.

"Guess not." They mumbled, figuring that burying their face into him would help hide how red their cheeks had gotten. "Reminds me of someone, actually. Someone that won't stop bothering some doc's kid, like he don't have anything else to do." Jaden laughed gently.

"If you're talkin' about me, I do have other shit to do. Botherin' you is too much fun, though." He fixed his eyes on the wall, where the projector was displaying the movie. Didn't even realize Jaden had lifted their head up and was looking at him. Maybe focusing on the movie would pull him out of his thoughts. He hated the little nerd. Hated, hated, hated. So why did his insides flutter due to their sudden closeness?

Jaden couldn't help but to snicker, tightening their grip around him. It was clear he was nervous, and they loved it. "So, cuddling is a way of bothering somebody these days? Guess I missed the memo for that shit." They placed an arm behind him, brushing against his jacket.

He finally peered down at them, nervous as hell when he realized they were just a whisper away from his face. His cheeks felt like they were on fire. "I, uh...yeah, guess so. What, you got a problem with that? If 'ya do, good. I love annoyin' you." Butch swallowed, close enough to them now to be able to count their eyelashes. Close enough to count the heavy amount of freckles across their nose, if he wished to do so.

They hummed lightly, turning their head and moving it into the crook of his neck. Trying to focus on the movie and failing miserably, they moved the arm around his waist under his jacket. His warmth surprised them, but what surprised them more was that they were rapidly beginning to enjoy his touch. Not just his warmness, either. "Oh, absolutely. I have the hugest problem with it. In fact, I hate it even more than those names you call me. Hate it more than..." They trailed off, wracking their brain for a witty comment. To their dismay, they came up empty.

"You hate it, huh?" Butch absentmindedly began rubbing small circles on their back, wondering why exactly he was enjoying this. Why he was enjoying it more than when he actually picked on them. "What do you hate most about it? Just askin' so I can, y'know, keep it in mind for future reference." His mind became clouded with thoughts he never expected to have about them, their breath lightly touching his skin.

"Everything." They said without hesitation, hiding the growing smile on their face. "Everything about you, and this too. I hate your face, your hair, your jacket, how fucking warm you are. It should be illegal for a snake like you to be this warm. I'd hate a kiss even more. I hate..."

When they trailed off, Butch tightened his grip on them a bit, stomach doing somersaults. "Oh, yeah? Well, I hate your face too. Especially those freckles, an' that cute ass nose." He paused, almost praying that they didn't hear the last part. "Don't see why you'd hate my hair, looks better than yours ever would. Least I take care of mine. You're um...freezing, y'know that? You're cold as shit. You always this cold, Nosebleed?"

"You think my nose is cute?" They asked, ignoring his other comments and not bothering to hide their smile from him anymore. "Think anything else about me is cute, DeLoria?" Jaden brushed their nose against his chin, still confused as to how this started, but not complaining.

His jaw tightened at their touch, him holding them even closer without noticing he'd done so. It was just about impossible for the two to get any closer to another, at this point. "Well, I uh...um." Butch began, becoming more flustered than he was before. How the hell did the two of them even get on this topic? "I don't...I don't think any of 'ya is cute. Puttin' words in my mouth. I hate you as much as you hate me, y'know."

Their faces were a hair away from another at this point, Jaden breathing lightly and taking notice of his scent. He smelled wonderful. Pomade, leather, and a hint of something else. They hated and loved how good he smelled. Jaden opened their mouth to say something, but stopped. Butch's eyes were pointed downward a bit, and after a short moment Jaden realized he was staring at their lips. The blush that had just begun fading from their face returned with a vengeance, then. Unable to help staring at his own, they let out a small sliver of air.

Butch raised a hand to their face, slowly running his fingers through their hair. As much as he loved teasing them, he wouldn't dare do anything that'd make them genuinely uncomfortable. Pulling his gaze from their lips, he darted his eyes back up, as if asking them permission. Reddening when he saw they were focused on his own lips, he caved and spoke aloud. "Shame you'd hate a kiss from me, pipsqueak."

Jaden's breathing almost stopped entirely, his lips faintly brushing against theirs as he'd spoke. How was it that Butch DeLoria, of all people, was doing strange things to their insides? "I'd hate it more than anything. Better bring it on, so I can see just how much."

He was about as breathless as Jaden was, fingers no longer ruffling through their hair. It should be easy to bridge the small gap between them, right? It wasn't. Butch glanced at their eyes again, more nervous than he thought he'd be. He never thought this would happen between the two of them in the first place, as a matter of fact. Before Jaden wound up taking the initiative instead, he closed the space between them and kissed them as softly as he could. Tasting the sweet aftertaste of Nuka-Cola on their lips, he pulled his mouth from theirs.

Despite it being brief, Jaden felt a warmth spread throughout them. They didn't expect it, didn't expect most of what had happened with him today. Didn't think they'd enjoy it as much as they did. "That's not all you got, is it?" They smiled, closing their eyes and locking their arms around his neck. Before he could answer, they couldn't resist leaning in and kissing him again, loving the feeling of his lips on theirs.


	3. Happy Birthday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally intended this to be much longer, but I cut it short. Might touch up on this again later as an entirely different fic.

"Should we all play _Spin the Bottle,_ _Truth or Dare,_ or something else?" Amata asked, leaning back in her booth and mostly directing the question towards their best friend, Jaden. "I can't really think of any other games...but that's what they all used to play before the war, right?"

Almost everybody groaned, but Jaden found themselves smiling. Both games sounded silly just by the titles alone, but it'd be worth it if their least favorite Tunnel Snake wound up mortally embarrassed by whatever ensued once the party really began. It was after curfew, but thankfully most of the overseer's guards turned a blind eye whenever a teen had a birthday party in the dead of night. Or any party, really.

"Run the rules of the games by me, again?" Jaden propped their face on their hands, leaning forward and eyeing their peers in the diner. Amata, the Tunnel Snakes minus Wally, Freddie, and previously Christine and Susie were the guests. Christine and Susie left the party about as quickly as the two had arrived. Not particularly bothered by it, Jaden had shrugged when the two mumbled goodbyes. It's not like they were close to Christine or Susie. They didn't wish either of them any ill will, though. Amata had insisted Jaden invite them to be polite, if nothing else.

"Well, for _Spin the Bottle_ we take an empty bottle and ah, spin it in the center of the table." Amata began, folding her hands together and seeming a little flustered. "Whoever spins the bottle has to kiss the person it points towards. Not just like, a cheek kiss or something. A full-on mouth kiss." She paused, rolling her eyes when Butch snorted, the other boys stifling giggles and Jaden seeming unfazed.

Amata continued on, anyways. "For _Truth or Dare,_ we all take turns asking each other 'truth, or dare?' and if someone says truth, the asker gets to ask any question. The um, askee has to answer honestly. If you say dare, then you have to do whatever the asker dares you to do."

Wrinkling their nose, Jaden didn't really seem fond of the first option. There wasn't exactly anybody in the room they'd enjoy kissing. That was the point of the game though, they guessed. That and...it was almost as if a light-bulb went off above their head. That'd be perfect for embarrassing Butch. They were more curious about _Truth or Dare_ though. "How about we play both? Everybody up for that?"

Paul and Freddie shrugged from across Jaden and Amata in the diner booth, Amata shrugging too. Butch was in a stool beside Paul, arms crossed and legs kicking Jaden's off and on under the table. His lopsided smile and the look he gave Jaden seemed to be his response.

"What we gonna play first?" Freddie asked before Butch or Paul could chime in. Paul wasn't bothered in the slightest, but Butch was a little annoyed. He had literally just opened his mouth to say something, but Freddie had beaten him to the punch. He didn't seem to notice, though, continuing asking questions anyways. "I mean, we don't have many girls here, just Amata. What if I have to kiss a boy? What then?"

Jaden raised a brow, breaking out into light giggles at the look on Butch's face. He paled the second he realized he might have to kiss one of his best friends. "What happens at my birthday party, stays at my birthday party, I guess? What's wrong with kissing boys, anyway?"

"I'm out on that _Spin the Bottle_ shit. I ain't kissin' nobody here." Butch kicked Jaden under the table again, seeing them laughing out of the corner of his eye. He assumed correctly that they'd been laughing at him, despite it also being likely they were laughing at Freddie. Jaden kicked him back a little harder, causing him to lurch forward and bump his knee on the table. "Keep it up, twerp. See what happens."

"Aw, that hurts my feelings, Butch!" Jaden smiled ear to ear, placing a hand on his and mock-fluttering their eyes. "What if you get to smooch me? We all know it'd be a dream come true." They fanned themselves, pleased at Paul and Freddie's snickers after they'd said it. Ignoring his idle threats, they removed their hand before he could swat it away. They felt the urge to fuck up his hair or do something else to irritate him, but feeling Amata's eyes boring into the back of their head, they settled down and pressed their back against the booth's cushion.

Butch sneered, resisting the urge to get into another fistfight with them and pressing his feet firmly on the ground. "Yeah right, Nosebleed. Dream come true for _you,_ maybe." He then leaned back a bit on his stool, holding onto the counter behind him to prevent himself from falling over. His other arm hung loosely at his side, him flipping Jaden off quickly before burying his hand in one of his pockets.

Amata rolled her eyes, clearing her throat and trying to alleviate some of the tension in the room. "Come on, you two. Parties are supposed to be fun, right? How about we try _Truth or Dare_ first? It can't be that bad." She asked, thinking that game would be the lesser of two evils.

"Now we're talkin'." Jaden's face lit up in excitement, them folding their hands together after cracking their knuckles. "I'm going first, I mean it's my birthday right?" They looked around, surprised that nobody objected. Clearing their throat and closing their eyes, they dramatically waved their hand around with one finger pointed. As if they hadn't planned it, they gasped when it landed on Butch. "Ooh. Truth, or dare?"

Already exasperated and wondering why he'd come to their birthday party in the first place, he sighed loudly. "Dare, I guess. Let's get this crap over with." He reclined further on his stool, almost falling and having to sit upright. Placing his hands on the table and waiting for the worst.

 _Big mistake,_ Jaden thought, smiling to themselves. They already had a dare in mind for him, but pretended to mull thoughts around in their head to draw things out as long as possible. Mostly because they knew it'd only piss him off even more. Only fair that he got a taste of his own medicine once in awhile, right? "I dare you to go get me a bottle of Nuka-Cola. Doesn't matter how. Steal it or buy it, I don't care."

His lips pursed, expecting the worst but being pleasantly surprised by the simplicity of the dare instead. "Just one? Easy." He got up, making sure he bumped into one of their shoulders as he walked by. Jaden ignored him, though, eager to see what'd happen in the next round.

"Who's next? What about you, Paul? You okay with that, man?" Jaden asked him, wondering why he'd been so quiet. Then again, Paul Hannon was always relatively quiet, other than when he felt pressured to put on fake bravado similarly to how Butch did. Only he wasn't cruel about things. Paul actually seemed to give a shit about his fellow human beings, whereas Butch didn't seem to give a care in the world about anything.

* * *

It took about a half hour before Butch returned, out of breath and holding a Nuka-Cola in one hand. The bottle was sweating with condensation, and Jaden perked up even more. They'd learned quite a bit about their peers while he'd been gone, most playing it as safe as they could and choosing 'truth' when prompted by one another. Turns out Paul and Amata had a giant crush on each other, Freddie admitted to being gay, and various other things. Unfortunately, now everyone knew that Jaden had never had their first kiss, though. Everyone else had but them.

"Truth or dare, Butch-man!" Freddie called out to him once he was through the doorway, happy for more than one reason. The main reason being that the few people he'd come out to had accepted him for who he was, and didn't find anything wrong with it. One of the others being that Jaden had revealed the real reason they'd wanted a Nuka-Cola in the first place. Things were about to get more interesting.

Butch rolled his eyes, glancing around the diner and groaning. Paul and Amata were seated beside another now, Freddie having stolen Butch's stool and Jaden sitting by themselves. Only one place for Butch to sit. "Seriously? I just got back." He sighed heavily. "Fuck it, truth."

As Butch slid into the booth next to Jaden, he sat the Nuka-Cola down on the table and opened it, stealing the first sip. Before Jaden could pry it from his hands, he'd downed a fourth of it before he'd handed it to them. "Damn it, Butch!" They scowled, cautiously taking a few sips of their drink. It's not like the two were kids anymore, though. Both knew damned well cooties weren't much to worry about, especially in the vault.

Freddie laughed, turning himself back and forth in half-spins on his stool. "Butch, you ever kiss anyone before, man?" When his head shot up in alarm, Freddie laughed gently. "Easy, dude. We all figured out who's kissed who and how many times while you were gone."

A sly smile from Jaden and a playful snicker between the others later, Butch finally threw his hands up and shook his head. "No, I haven't. Don't mean shit, though. Don't like anyone in the vault like that." While he'd been busy being self-conscious and having his face heat up, Jaden had already finished their drink. Putting the cap back onto it the best they could, they placed it in the center of the table.

"Jaden's never kissed anyone before either, ya'know." Paul said lowly, hoping they wouldn't embarrass Jaden by saying so, but the look of death they received from them afterwards sure as hell said otherwise. He mumbled an apology, Jaden shaking their head and frowning.

"It's fine, Paul. No worries." They almost bit the words out. Not that they had anything against Paul; in fact it was the opposite most of the time. The two had been friends for ages now, though of course behind the other Tunnel Snakes' back so he wouldn't get teased about being friends with the doc's kid. Nothing more than friends, though. They were genuinely surprised they never caught on about him and Amata. To be fair, neither had admitted their crushes to the other until now, but still. Jaden thought they'd have caught on to it sooner.

A sharp poke in Jaden's shoulder caused them to glare at Butch again, also causing them to grimace in reaction at the look on his face. "Ain't kissed nobody before, have 'ya? Guess that'll change with that other game." Afterwards, he began to register that he and Jaden might be each other's first kiss. He wasn't exactly the best at math, but the chances were pretty damn high. His face crumpled once he realized.

"Piss off, DeLoria." They elbowed him, staring pointedly at the bottle in the middle of the table before the five of them. "So, _Spin the Bottle,_ or do we continue where we left off with that other thing? Butch would be up next as an asker since he'd been gone for awhile, right?"

"Sure, I guess he would be. That'd only be fair." Amata said, regretting not saying something to Freddie about taking Butch's stool. He should have sat next to Jaden, instead. _Maybe I shouldn't worry so much,_ she thought. Amata knew Jaden could more than take care of themselves, and likely won at least half (if not more) of the fistfights between them and Butch. It didn't mean she had to like it, though.

"Fuck that, I'm up for playin' _Spin the Bottle._ Should be fun." Butch smirked, trying his best to hide his concerns. Surprising not only himself, but everyone else, since he'd said earlier that he'd wanted no part of the game. "We could play more of _Truth of Dare_ after, yeah?"

It was Jaden's turn to keep the two's banter alive, this time. They didn't get to tease him about him not having a first kiss either, yet. "Well, well, DeLoria. Looks like you're ready to get your smooch on after all. Who will be the lucky gal or guy?" They laughed, lightly shoving his shoulder again. It hadn't even occurred to them that if he spun first, or they spun first, that they might unluckily land on the other.

"You're up first, hotshot." Jaden continued, winking at him and grasping onto his hand, placing it on the bottle. "Just spin it, but be careful. Don't let the shit hit the floor. Don't feel like cleaning it up." The look on his face was priceless, and totally worth them grabbing his hand again. Even worth the weird feeling that started in their stomach when Butch laced his fingers with theirs. Hopefully nobody else had noticed.

Butch leaned forward, pulling his hand from Jaden's after giving it a tight squeeze. He grinned at the audible scowl that ensued, but focused on the bottle instead. _What's the worst that could happen? Amata was kind of cute. Not like Paul and her were a thing yet._ He reached out and placed a hand on the bottle, giving it a quick twist and spinning. It spun faster, faster, faster. Then it stopped, slowly coming to a halt.

Paul, Freddie, and Amata collectively gasped at the same time once they'd seen where it landed. Jaden was busy fiddling around with their pip-boy now, not even noticing. Butch looked like he'd seen a ghost once he saw the result. There was no mistaking it. It had landed on Jaden.

"This is bullshit, I ain't kissin' Nosebleed!" His pallor returned to his face, being rapidly replaced with a heated blush. Jaden whipped their head around so hard towards him they thought that they may have to see their father later about potential whiplash. When he saw their expression, though, he barked out a nervous laugh. "Well, unless the little twerp wants it as badly as it looks like they do."

Jaden groaned, hating that their face had a light blush creeping up too. "No. Fucking. Way. I'd rather makeout with an ashtray. At least it'd have more personality than you. Would probably taste better too." They averted their eyes from him, looking more than peeved.

"You don't have to, you know, do more than just a regular mouth kiss guys." Amata chimed in before things escalated to another fight, Paul and Freddie nodding in agreement and making Amata feel awash with relief. At least partially. She wasn't fond of the idea of her best friend kissing their childhood rival. _Butch DeLoria, the vault bully and the leader of the Tunnel Snakes._ Why'd she think this game was a good idea, again?

"At least ashtrays have a use. What do you do? Offer ink to people that don't even want the shit?" Butch narrowed his eyes at Jaden, completely ignoring Amata's words. Feeling a twinge of regret at what he'd said when he saw Jaden's eyes, almost threatening to brim with tears. They weren't the sensitive type. Not even in the slightest. _Shit, I shouldn't have said that._ That was a low blow, even for him. "Hey hey, look, I'm...sorry. I didn't mean that." He cautiously draped an arm around them, hoping his touch wouldn't repel them for once.

"Let's just get this kiss done already. I think I'm callin' the party quits after this." They hated how much Butch's words had dug into them. He usually wasn't this much of an ass to them. Why now, of all times? It was their birthday, damn it. Their guests looked a little surprised, having expected the party to go on into the wee hours of the morning. "You can all keep up the games if you want, but I'm not really feeling it."

Everyone looked concerned, but the only one that stopped Jaden once they got up from the diner booth was Butch. He'd felt awful. Didn't know that what he'd said would hurt them so much, if at all. Breaking each others bones was so much easier than hurting the other's feelings. Jaden continued getting up, though. The two's strength was almost even, and it wasn't hard for Jaden to pull away from him and begin heading out of the diner. Planning on leaving to sleep for the night, they felt a twinge of dismay when Butch caught up to them.

"'Ey, I really didn't mean what I said. I'm sorry, man." He said once beside them in the hallway, his brows pulled together. He wasn't good at apologizing, and definitely not good at admitting when he was wrong. "Change your mind about that kiss, huh?" He tried to see how they'd react to a poorly timed joke, pleased and mostly surprised when they whirled around and rewarded him with a soft smile.

"It's fine, Butch." Their grin warped, sly and cunning now. That was the Jaden he was used to. The one he loved teasing and picking fights with. "You'll have to find some way to make it up to me, though." They leaned against a wall, brows raising when he joined beside them.

"How the hell am I supposed to do that? Not gonna be nothin' I won't like, right?" Butch asked, head turned towards Jaden's and locking eyes with them. Jaden responded by placing a hand gingerly on his arm, surprised that they weren't repulsed by his touch and vice versa. Before they decided to change their mind, they grabbed him by the collar and pulled him into a kiss. It was long and sweet, shocking them both.

Pulling away, both breathless, Butch laced his arms around their waist. Jaden gave him another kiss, him already leaning down far enough to reach them. Pulling apart from another the second time, Jaden stifled a nervous laugh. "That's how you can repay me. With...those."

"With what? I'm not sure what you mean, pipsqueak. Maybe I need a better demonstration." He gave them a half smile, leaning in and pressing his lips to theirs this time rather than the other way around. This one lasted longer than the others, the two becoming entangled in one another's arms, one of them letting out a light gasp. Neither were sure who'd done it. The two of them were too lost in the moment.


	4. A Rainy Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning (again) for cigarette smoking.

It had been a few months, now, since Jaden and Butch had fallen into a comfortable friendship in Vault 101. It was strange to Jaden to think that the vault's resident bully, and the thorn in their side for over a decade, was one of the few people they could count on now. One of three people they trusted whole-heartedly. The other two being Jaden's father and Amata, but neither could possibly know or be told of what ran through Jaden's head on a regular basis. They never dared to share their thoughts with either of them, despite the bonds that they'd felt they had between them both. They weren't one for sharing, period. Regardless of trust. Yet here they were, pouring their heart out to DeLoria.

"I fucking hate this place. These walls. The smells. The...the same people. All our lives. Are we really going to be trapped in this hole forever?" Jaden took a few drags from their third cigarette within the past half hour, fingers tapping on a crate. The reactor - where their childhood shooting range still stood - was where the two would usually go to spend time with one another. "It always smells like antiseptic down here. Sterile. Like those pre-war hospitals would be like, I guess. At least from what the books say. Nothing changes, here. Everything's static."

Running his fingers through his hair, Butch continued fiddling with his switchblade, sitting on one of the crates closer to the floor. Resisting the urge to tap his foot as Jaden was tapping their fingers. He was nervous around them now, even though hanging out with them had become almost a daily habit. Jaden closed their eyes, letting out a small sigh and leaning against the wall beside him. He sighed, too.

Smoke curled around their fingers before they took another drag, inhaling deeply and exhaling up towards a vent in the ceiling. They practically drank the cigarette, snuffing it out on the floor and pulling out another from their pack. "I feel...I feel like I need to get out of this place. I don't want to be here. I can't stand it anymore." They continued after taking their first drag of their fourth smoke, thankful that Butch was lending an ear to them. "I don't know what the hell's up there, maybe nothing, maybe monsters or some shit. But...but anything. Anything has to be..."

"Anythin' up there has gotta be better than a lifetime of the same bullshit down here." Butch finished their sentence, folding his switchblade and placing it into one of his jacket's pockets. He reclined a bit against the wall besides them, still sitting on the crate he'd claimed, leaning a bit closer towards them now. The moment he began to feel comfortable, though, he abruptly bolted upright and stood. "'Ey, Jaden."

Jaden raised a brow, wondering what was on his mind. Wondering if he really felt the same way about the vault. Before they could say or ask anything though, one of Butch's arms wound its way around their waist. "Jaden." He repeated, giving a lazy smile and putting his other arm around their waist, too. He had to admit, part of him loved their now frequent physical contact. Their eyes locked with his before breaking away briefly to exhale some of the smoke in their lungs. "You ever leave this place, you'd take me with 'ya, right? You wouldn't leave me here?"

"Yeah, man. 'Course I would." Their cigarette hung loosely on their lower lip, and before it could fall Butch caught it in one of his hands, partially releasing them from his hold. He smirked, putting it to his mouth and taking a small drag from it before returning it. Jaden thought he'd sputter and cough, but it seemed DeLoria was full of surprises. They quickly changed the subject. "How long you been smoking, Butch?"

"I dunno, 'bout as long as you have, I guess." He shrugged weakly, head swimming with the rush of nicotine and whatever other chemicals had been jammed into those sticks pre-war. Head also swimming at the idea of leaving the vault with Jaden. It was just a dream, really, but the idea of making a life with them...even if up out _there,_ wherever and whatever there was, made him smile. "What's it matter? You smoke too, yeah?" He stated - or rather asked - the obvious, Jaden moving over a bit from their spot to allow him to stand beside them. Arm still around their waist.

"Nah, nah. Of course I don't." They rolled their eyes, leaning into him and placing their head into the crook of his neck. If anybody had told Jaden that they'd be friends with Butch a year ago, they'd have punched them in the face. If anyone had said that the two would snuggle each other on a regular basis a year ago, they'd have put them in their father's clinic. Yet here the two were, each more than happy to be glued to the other's side despite their peers' taunts and jeers. "I just worry about you, is all. Don't want you getting into the same shit I'm into, but I guess it's too late for that." Jaden finished their fourth cigarette, bending down to snuff it out and grabbing their pack again but stopping dead in their tracks.

A loud rumbling noise sounded from above, and Jaden's heart skipped a beat. Clutching onto Butch's sleeve out of reflex, they didn't remember the cause of it until Butch doubled over laughing. It was raining out there, again. At least, that's what they were told the noises above ground were. Outside of the vault, there was _weather._ Something more than breathing in the same stagnant air. Water actually fell freely from the sky, sometimes. It was probably made of acid, or something, but Jaden found themselves longing to see it. One more reason they wanted to leave.

"Hey, if you wanna get closer to me, that's all 'ya gotta say, man." He saw the opportunity and took it, placing both arms around them and holding them to him. "Those storms an' all though. Shit scares the hell outta me, too. Tell anyone that and I'll...I don't know. Maybe I'll steal your BB gun again for some target practice." Butch nuzzled his face in Jaden's hair, loving the scowl that followed due to his words.

"Like I didn't already know you borrow it off and on." Jaden laughed softly, the scowl on their face quickly being replaced with a wide smile. "If you want to use my shooting range, all you gotta do is ask. Take this as an invitation to use it whenever you want, actually. Just make sure you're careful, 'kay? Don't want the overseer's guards hounding your ass again. Got enough shit on your plate." They tightened their arms around him, squeezing lightly. Partly due to them enjoying his closeness over the past few months, but mostly because of the storm above.

Butch held onto them tighter in response at first, heart racing for two reasons. One: his fear of storms. Two: he was beginning to develop feelings for the doc's kid, the one he used to call Nosebleed on a regular basis. His childhood rival turned best friend. He loved their touch, looked forward to the time the two spent together more than anything. "Yeah, yeah. Y'know, you worry too damn much about me, Jaded."

They groaned at their new nickname, the one that had replaced his other ridiculous ones. In actuality, though, they didn't really mind it. It seemed more fitting than his others. "There a problem with me worrying about you, Butch-man?" Jaden pulled apart just enough to press a soft kiss to his neck, not really expecting the blush that immediately rose to his face afterwards. They often gave one another kisses, out of affection. Never on the mouth, though. Forehead kisses. Cheek kisses. Hand kisses. The list went on and on. Why'd he seem so flustered?

"I...well, uh, no." He stammered, quickly composing himself. "'Least, not when you put it that way." Butch grinned, looking down at them and more than thankful the heat began receding from his cheeks. Of course, it came back just about as quickly as it had left when Jaden pressed a kiss to his jawline. Not wanting to be outdone, he placed three kisses on Jaden in return. One on their eyes, nose, and their chin.

Jaden laughed, a few of his kisses having tickled them because of his stubble. They went to say something, but hesitated. Gazing back up at him and locking eyes, their heart fluttered. Both were already really affectionate with another, so what would be wrong with attempting to take things a small step further? The only thing preventing Jaden from doing the only thing currently on their mind was the height difference. They were about half a foot shorter than him, and standing on their tiptoes would just make them look ridiculous. At least they thought it would.

"Snake got your tongue, Jaded?" Butch couldn't help but interrupt their thought flow, knowing the look on their face all too well. Whenever Jaden's brows were like that, they were thinking - and thinking hard - about something. He assumed, and assumed correctly, that they were thinking of kissing him. Not in any of the other places the two had kissed another before, though. He bridged the gap between the two slowly, breath catching in his throat momentarily. All smartass remarks shoved aside, he gently ran his fingers through tufts of Jaden's hair. Drinking them in, he closed his eyes once the two were close enough and pressed his lips to theirs carefully. He almost instantly relaxed.

Sighing happily into him, Jaden wrapped their arms around his neck to pull him into a deeper kiss. As they did so, though, another rumble from above ground sounded and they flinched. Both started laughing once the two calmed down, Jaden soon displaying a look of shock on their face. "Is that...? Do you hear that?" They weren't sure, but if what they'd read and heard about was right, they could actually hear the rain itself.

Ready to bolt up to the atrium to hear it better, more than ready to drag Butch if need be, Jaden was halted briefly. Butch pulled them into another kiss, it being quicker than the two before. When he pulled away, he was smiling ear to ear and soon smothering them in kisses all over their face. Jaden's laughter sounded like bells, and Butch regretted not having kissed them before. Their touch alone seemed to put him at ease these days. With how nervous he was earlier regarding kissing Jaden in the first place, it was subsided immediately once his lips touched theirs. He'd never felt this way before. He needed them. He wondered if this was what was described in those poems Beatrice sometimes wrote.

"We'll see the rain up there one day, Jaden. Promise." Butch kissed them again before caving and allowing them to lead him by the hand to the atrium, desiring to leave the vault for more than one reason now. Whatever was up there, he was more determined than ever to leave this place. Before he'd daydreamed about it from time to time, but now he felt as though he owed it to Jaden to give them a life outside.


	5. Kiss With A Fist

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been rewriting and proofreading this over and over for 8 years just take it.

This fight had started about the same way every other fight with the two had. This time, though, it was mostly Butch's fault. One minute, he and Jaden were discussing where to head to for their next scavenging trip. The next, both started arguing about it, tossing in jabs about the other's tactics and who would get to use which weapons. He could have just let it go like he usually did, but he was determined to try out Jaden's new sniper rifle. Of course, Jaden wasn't having it. Soon enough Jaden had him in a headlock, Butch successfully struggling out of their hold.

Back when the two were adolescents, fighting like this was routine. As Jaden's fist collided with Butch's jaw, they couldn't help but to remember the times from when they were still back in the vault. Things had been so much simpler, back then. Simpler, yes, but it didn't stop them from being restless. They assumed Butch was the same, and that maybe it was the cause of their fights. They assumed wrong.

* * *

_"Keep it up, Nosebleed. I'll send you back to your daddy with more broken bones to fix." He'd sneered, having been thrown to the ground by Jaden. It hardly phased him. If anything, it amused him. Didn't irritate him. Jaden could tell, too, and it only pissed them off even more._

_"Fuck. You." They'd huffed, wiping sweat from their brow and holding him by the shirt, the fabric balled into their hand._

_As Jaden moved to swing their other fist at him, they were caught off guard. Butch's knee hiked up and hit them in the stomach, one of his hands reaching up and grabbing them by their hair. Pulling just hard enough to get them off of him, but not enough to tear out any strands. He was soon standing, albeit fumbling a bit to get up, while Jaden's eyes blazed into his. They got up as quickly as they could._

_Butch narrowly dodged another swing at his face, starting to laugh. He could hardly remember why the fight had started in the first place, but he lived for this. Lived for whatever attention the doc's kid would give him. This was the easiest route for him. It was usually fun, too._

_"Ooh, that why you don't like me hitting on your 'lil girlfriend Amata? You want some of the Butch-man, huh?" He couldn't help himself from continuing laughing, not even caring that they'd landed a few punches and a relatively hard slap to his face after he'd said it. "I mean, you said 'fuck you' to me, so you wanna...?" He was cut off by Jaden's hand covering his mouth to shut him up, them grabbing him gruffly._

_"Can it, DeLoria." Jaden growled, holding him by one shoulder and shoving him against the wall. They hated him more than anything. Hated everything about him. Hated, especially, when he'd intentionally provoke them. It seemed to be his number one (and possibly only) hobby._

_Expecting him to retaliate, frustrated to hell and back when he hadn't, they'd made a disgruntled noise and removed their hand from his mouth. They began to walk away, but were stopped. Butch's arms snaked around their waist, pulling them into him. They didn't realize what he was doing at first. Thought he was about to toss them to the floor. They'd pulled their arms up best they could, but stopped._

_He was smiling at them, gently tracing their black eye and ignoring his busted lip among other minor injuries. Holding them loosely enough to where they could scramble away if they'd wanted to, but they didn't. The look on his face made them stop, made Jaden put their arms down and sigh into his chest. As pissed as they were at him, as much as they hated him, they had to admit they felt awash with relief when their fight had come to an abrupt halt. They weren't used to being held. Being held by someone was as rare as saffron for them._

_Forgetting briefly, or not even caring, that it was Butch DeLoria that they were being held by, Jaden put their arms around him in return and sighed again. After a long moment, they pulled away, heat rising to their cheeks. "Not a word to anyone about this shit, got it?" Jaden's brows scrunched up, some of the fight left in them bubbling back to the surface and them almost begging for a reason to kick his ass again._

_"Right. Why would I tell anyone I beat 'ya in a fight? Nothin' for me to brag about." Butch's grin widened even more, and when Jaden went to swat him he batted their hand away. "Easy, damn. Catch 'ya later, Jaded." He parted ways with them, not sure how to feel about their latest conflict._

* * *

Getting lost in their thoughts and memories turned out to be a huge mistake. While Jaden had been thinking fondly of their old brawls, Butch landed a punch hard enough to give them a black eye. _Just like old times,_ Jaden thought, rolling over on their bed just in time to miss Butch's next swing. His eyes shot up, and before he could respond quick enough Jaden wrapped their legs around him and pinned him beneath their body. Both having spent months in the wastes, the two were stronger than ever and more evenly matched than before.

"Jesus, Jaden. That hurt, y'know!" Butch scowled, rubbing his jaw and struggling to get out from underneath them. Jaden smirked, grabbing him by each wrist and pinning his arms down too. They were about to say some smartass remark, but Butch kneed them hard in the stomach. _Should've seen that coming._ Despite them being evenly matched for the most part, it hardly accounted for the shelf by Jaden's bed.

"Ah, shit." Jaden hissed, having slammed into the corner of the shelf on their wall with one shoulder. Pain shot up and down their arm, making their head spin and spots swim across their eyes. Instead of taking advantage of the situation, Butch sat up, worry creasing his face.

He opened his mouth to say something, closing it gently and ignoring his own pain from his jawline. Gingerly placing a hand on their arm, he flinched when they angrily swatted him away. Now he was hurt for more than one reason, though he couldn't deny that he kind of deserved it. Without a word, he climbed off their bed and sauntered off into the kitchen. Began grinding the plants Jaden liked for tea.

"Hell are you doing in there, DeLoria?" Jaden rested their head on their pillows, letting out a frustrated puff of air. With how crowded and tiny their house was, they could easily hear him rifling around cabinets in the kitchen. It was right across the wall from them. Having nowhere else to stay permanently, with Butch's help they'd restored an old rectangular home in Springvale - right by Megaton. Maybe one day they'd work on renovating it more, maybe even build a basement, but for now they had their hands full and the world on their shoulders.

Starting to get up, Jaden felt another throb of pain. Wanting to bite it back and bear it, they instead laid back down on their bed. It wouldn't hurt to at least _try_ to relax for once, would it? Closing their eyes reluctantly, they turned on their side and faced the wall. Despite whatever he was doing in the kitchen, they knew he wouldn't continue their fight if they were asleep. He always fought fair with them. Mostly.

"Drink up, and get up too, would 'ya?" Butch gave a light push to Jaden's side, tactfully avoiding their shoulder. He was sure it was developing a bruise already. Jaden groaned and rubbed at their neck, groggy with sleep. With some coaxing, they were sitting up against their pillows.

Jaden rubbed at their eyes, still trying to wake themselves. They'd only dozed off for about a half hour, but they'd always felt exhausted upon waking. "What's this for?" They turned towards him, Butch sitting down beside them and handing them the cup of tea he'd made while they were napping. Taking it cautiously, Jaden breathed in the smell of it and enjoyed the warmth steaming from it before taking a long sip.

"Sorry." Butch mumbled, shrugging. "You can hit me again so the fight's fair, if 'ya want. Didn't mean for you to actually get hurt." He fiddled with the blanket draped across Jaden, tying small knots in the frayed pieces. His fault the fight started, and his fault it ended the way it did.

"Apology accepted." They said between sips, warmth spreading throughout their chest and chasing away the slight chill that had seeped into their home. "Think I'll take a rain check on the extra hit. Too damn tired right now." Jaden pulled the blanket further towards them, giving Butch a grin when he threw up his hands in frustration. Trying not to think about how bad he felt, Butch had actually gotten really into tying knots into the blanket with the frayed pieces of thread. Of course, Jaden tugging at the blanket interrupted his process. He turned towards them.

"Of course you are." Butch rolled his eyes, wondering why exactly he still insisted on pressing their buttons and starting fights. Both were almost twenty years old now. He thought they'd both grow out of their lifelong habit. He thought, more-so hoped, that his crush on them would have evaporated at this point. "My turn to crash on the couch, I'm guessin'? I'm tired too." He started to get up, rubbing at his jaw again.

Taking a short sip from their tea, Jaden shook their head. "No, no. It's okay. You can sleep here with me if you want." They took a few more sips, feeling self-conscious all of a sudden. The two had never shared a bed before. Always slept in shifts in the wastes when the need arose.

Butch let out a shaky laugh, sitting back down on the mattress. "First 'ya almost break my bones, now you wanna sleep with me?" He smiled at them, starting to get himself comfortable on the bed. His back was pressed to the pillows that weren't behind Jaden, his arms crossed above his head. Ignoring their pointed glare, he kicked his boots off. Pulled his arms in front of him now, tying knots in the blanket like before.

"Not like that, DeLoria." Jaden gave him a light nudge with their elbow, careful not to spill any of their tea. They'd never admit it to Butch, but it was pretty damn good. Brought back memories from the vault. "Sure as hell seem eager though, don't you?" They said after another sip.

"Well, the uh...the bed ain't like a rock. 'Course I'd be eager, I guess?" He pressed his lips together, dropping the blanket's threads and trying to hide how nervous he was. Jaden slowly drained the rest of their cup, giving a wink as they handed it to him. He grumbled as he got up to put it in the kitchen sink, rinsing it quickly but taking his time returning to Jaden. _Maybe they'll be asleep 'gain once I'm back._

When he finally got the courage to come back to them, Jaden was still sitting up, now playing around with their pip-boy. Butch groaned, sighing and wrapping his jacket tighter around himself. It was getting cold, after all. Jaden probably just wanted to share body heat with him or something. Or maybe use this as an excuse to embarrass him later. Either way, he swallowed his pride and joined them under the covers, glancing over at their wrist to see what they were doing. He was hardly surprised to see they were playing their favorite holotape game.

"That _Zeta Invaders_ again?" He leaned in just close enough to see the screen better, unhooking his pip-boy from his wrist and placing it on the nightstand by the bed. Jaden nodded, Butch grumbling again once he'd realized he'd forgotten to switch the lights off. He was quicker this time coming back to them, though. The only light in the house was from Jaden's pip-boy now, a soft green light illuminating their face.

As Butch got under the covers again, Jaden gave him a sideways glance and clicked off their game. He was on his side facing away already, Jaden taking off their own pip-boy and leaning over him to set it beside his. Their chest brushed against his back during it, causing them to blush.

He tensed up instantly, holding his breath till they retreated back to their own personal space. "Uh, sorry. Let's not make this weird, okay?" Jaden pushed a lock of hair behind their ear, wishing the heat would leave their face. They felt the blanket move a bit, and guessed that Butch had sat up again. It was hard to tell in the dark, but it went both ways. At least he wouldn't be able to see how the brief touch had affected them.

"Were those your tits on my back?" Butch asked, giving them a coy smile. Disappointed once he realized they likely couldn't even see it. "How's shit not gonna be weird after that? Gettin' soft on me here, Jaden?" He placed an arm around their waist, whispering the last sentence.

"I said don't make it weird, asshole." Jaden shrugged him off, lying down and facing the wall. It's not like what they'd done was intentional. Butch knew it too, despite his fake cockiness and bravado. Forcing their eyes closed, breathing in deeply and exhaling a shuddering breath, Jaden adjusted the pillows beneath them. Butch bit his tongue, lying down and turning away. As close to the edge of the bed as he could get.

Keeping his mouth shut didn't last for very long, though. Once he finally started to get comfortable, he rolled over and propped his head up on one elbow. "Why haven't we shared a bed before, huh? This ain't so bad." He could tell by the way they were breathing that they weren't fully asleep yet. Expecting to be swatted or punched, he moved a little out of reflex. Jaden didn't do anything, though. Butch gulped, wondering if they really _were_ getting soft on him. He almost hoped so. "I know tactics an' all that in the wastes man, but what about when we're home?"

"Butch, please shut up." Jaden adjusted themselves, now lying on their stomach. They'd actually found themselves beginning to drift off to sleep just before he'd spoken. Lying on their stomach made them bump their shoulder into him as they'd moved, Jaden sighing and turning onto their side again. This time they were facing him. "We've never shared a bed before because we fucking hate each other, or did you forget that?"

All too aware of how close Jaden was to him at the moment, Butch curled the arm propping him up beneath his pillow. "Since when? Never hated ya' before, don't now." Considering how silent they'd gotten after he'd said it, Butch continued. "I've never hated ya'. I love the hell outta you."

"You...wait, what?" His words sunk in, Jaden biting their inner cheek. Although they'd heard the sincerity in his voice, they couldn't help but to shake their head. "Bullshit. You're just fucking with me. Either that, or you have a piss poor way of showing that you care about someone." They started to sit up again, bunching up their side of the blanket in their hands. "You know what, DeLoria? Fuck you. Fuck you and your lies."

Ignoring every instinct that told them that he'd been telling the truth, they tossed the blanket and pillows away from them and scrambled to the bottom of the bed. Not entirely sure where all the anger originally came from, they fumbled around in the dark to find their boots.

"Jaden, wait up. Where you goin'?" Butch's brows were furrowed, but he stayed in bed lest he feel their wrath. "I'm not lying. I swear on my ma's life. I've always loved you. I'm just..." He was sitting now too, hands running through his hair. Didn't mean to say what had been on his mind for over a decade. Didn't mean to let it slip. Didn't mean to piss them off so badly. "Really, really bad at showin' it, I guess? I don't mean to..."

Finally finding their shoes, Jaden paused. They let out another frustrated breath, crawling back up to their original spot in bed. "It's...it's fine, I guess." Jaden started, moseying under the blanket again. Feeling the brief burst of adrenaline already leaving their system, they rested their head on their pillows and faced him. Eyes just starting to adjust to the darkness, they could make out the shape of his face staring at them with concern. "I...damn it. I love you too, DeLoria." Jaden buried their face into his chest, moving close enough to wrap their arms around him.

Butch couldn't hide his smile if he'd tried, placing his arms around them in return. Heart fluttering all the while. "Ain't the best at showin' you care about somebody either, you know." His fingers ran through their hair, his smile widening when Jaden gave him a light, playful punch. "If you love someone, 'ya shouldn't be kicking their ass every other day. You should be doing, I don't know, anything but that or somethin', right?"

"You start it half the time!" They protested, albeit laughing while doing so. "And in case you forgot, you wind up kicking my ass too. Just about every other fight - you win. Though, maybe that'll change now?" They winked again, holding their breath as they traced the bruise on his jaw.

He shivered lightly, wondering how the change of events between them had occurred tonight, but not quite complaining. "Change how, Jaded?" He forced himself to smirk at them, hiding how nervous and anxious he was. Jaden drove him up a wall in more ways than one. "I'd never hit someone I'm in...well, a relationship with, or some shit. Not that I'm saying that that's what I want. Unless it's what ya' want? Do you...?"

"Oh shut up, Butch." Jaden's hand cupped his cheek, a wide grin decorating their face. "Shut up and kiss me, would you?" Their insides felt like mush saying it. They felt like they were melting at his touch, surprised but pleased at how his arms around them made them feel.

More than happy to oblige, Butch leaned forward a bit towards them. He was a little hesitant, though. Mostly because of how his fake composure had faltered again. He was a mess around them, but not exactly in a bad way. Tracing their face with his fingers, his lips slowly found theirs. An audible sigh sounded from Jaden again, but it didn't sound disappointed. They sounded relieved, if anything.

Pulling apart from another after a long moment, Butch was taken aback a bit when Jaden pressed another kiss to his lips. And another, and another. They were all quick, short and sweet. "I'd love a relationship of some kind...even out here in this shithole. We could make it work." Jaden sounded almost sad saying it, thinking of all of the horrors the two had encountered in the wastes already. Worried about what else may be lying out there. While they'd been mulling thoughts over, Butch gave them a light squeeze and pressed a light kiss to their forehead.


End file.
